Hong Kong - Kowloon, Day 1

So, it begins. I arrived in Hong Kong late last night (Monday evening) and after a pretty uneventful trip through customs cabbed it to the hotel. First, never trust hotels.com. Our 3.5 star hotel was a 100 sq ft room with 2 single beds and a bathroom that was not created for average size Americans. But, it's a bed, so all is well.

Woke up this morning earlier than one should, but guess that's the price you pay for jet lag. Ashley is in Singapore today and won't arrive in Hong Kong until Wednesday morning (tomorrow). So, the next 24 hours should prove interesting sans Ashley :).

I decided to head out of the hotel this morning after breakfast (traditional American - nothing fancy) and just started walking. Not really intending to go anywhere in particular - just see the city. So where does one end up when that is their goal? The Temple Market. Prior to coming to China I had heard that cuisine and customs were a bit different than the average American was accustomed to, but I had no idea what I was in store for.

Upon entering the market I saw the typical hanging beef, chickens, etc. that one can see in any major US city (Chinatown in NYC, example). But I kept walking. Live fish you can pick from, dead fish filleted open. So far not too extravagant. Then I saw a small cage. In the cage were live toads; huge live toads. WHO EATS TOADS? I vomited a little in my mouth and quickly jettisoned this market.

I walked up and down a street market and saw some exotic things - cooked dead goose, more fantastic beef and chicken cuts. And the smells - who says open sewers smell bad?! :). I was fighting nausea and vomiting the entire time.

So what does a good American do when they feel like they are in the bowels of the unforbidden? We find BEER. The oasis was a Circle K convenience store that fortunately sold beer in cans and they were on special. 2 for $14 Hong Kong Dollars; equals ~$2.00 USD. Nice. 1 in hand, 1 in my short pocket I head back out on the street. 1 beer disappears in record time; 4 seconds I think. Second beer chilling in my pocket, ready to be drank when necessary.

Some photos from the street market:

I end up at a Starbucks (where I am writing this post because the hotel Wi-Fi is as reliable as, well can't really think of an analogies right now. It's not reliable), and buy a bottled water. Feeling a bit tired I left Starbucks and retired to my hotel room / broom closet.

After resting a bit, I decided to head back out into the city. I was walking randomly again when a glowing sign lured me in like an oasis. It read, 'Full Body Massage'. Hmm, Ashley has told me good things about her massage experience(s) in Bangkok, so I said, 'What the hell, how much?' Roughly $35 USD for a 90 minute full body massage. The gods were smiling upon me.

I enter the massage palace and quickly see a sign, 'Men only - if you have a communicable disease you cannot proceed any further'. First thought - what have I done?

The gentlemen working the front office area escort me back and ask me to shower - I politely decline as I am not sure the cleanliness of the shower or the water. I get down to my skivvy's and put their robe on (after declining their boxer shorts) and head upstairs. They sit me down, bring a cold Coke and offer me a cigarette to relax. Second thought - Oh God, what have I done and how am I going to explain the Herpes to Ashley?

They ask me if I am in a rush - I stutter out a 'No' and they tell me good, an experienced lady will be with me in 20 minutes. Third thought - I am not going to make it out alive. Side note - I have my laptop and camera in my bad in THEIR locker. Jon = dumb ass.

Finally, a young girl, probably 14 comes in and escorts me back to get a massage. She asks me my name, I tell her Jon, she says "J" and I say, "Jon", she says "Joe" and I nod and smile. I am Joe. Your average Joe.

She proceeds to massage and, well, it was a pretty decent full body massage. JUST a massage - thankfully no happy ending was offered and I left there with my dignity and my belongings.

Guess I lucked out.

Rest of the day pretty uneventful - ate a fairly normal dinner in the hotel and am deciding to call it a night. Going to pick Ashley up at the Hong Kong airport tomorrow! THANK GOD!